Most of my life, I measured my success by other people’s standard, societal standards, cultural standards, and never my own standards. As time went by, I felt frustrated, I felt like an imposter, I was living someone else’s life. Who was I, who was Judith really? I knew what I wanted to do but had zero guts to do it, so I continued. Although life gave me incredibly good experience and self-awareness, it never gave me the growth that I wanted. Why? Because I was never doing what I was meant to be doing, I was not in my place in the world, I was occupying someone else’s space. All the while ignoring my own inner voice that was nagging me to go a different way.
You see, I learned that success isn’t about what others expect of you, it’s about growing into your own personal best, growing into who you are and doing your absolutely best with what you have, to improve your gifts and talents. It’s having the power and courage to ask yourself what you want and doing everything in you to go do it. It’s about respecting your own thoughts and opinions more than other peoples, (listen to others but value your own more and know when to follow your own intuition & guidance). Because other people may project their issues on to you and you need to discern the difference.
At some point in your life you will have to take responsibility for yourself and your actions, you’ll have to stop blaming anything outside of yourself and just do the best with what you have. Learn heavily on your skillset, your knowledge, your wiliness to unlearn your old negative patterns of self-sabotage and re-learn a new way of taking care of yourself. Pick up some good habits that will propel you into a new future that you can absolutely create. Do what’s humanly possible and surrender the rest.
Life is about growth and change comes whether you want it or not, giving you an opportunity to re-evaluate your priorities hence the ability to measure the success. If you live your life as a “continuous” straight line ignoring the curves, deeps, rainy days, storms, and changes knocking on your door, you will suffer. You must re-define what success means at every stage of your life, when you are not in a relationship, married, have children, single parent, self-employed or employed, living in the city, re-evaluate. You must redefine what success means in these new phases of life and notice the gift of change you’re supposed to be having and possibly enjoying.
Success is what you decide it’s going to be, focus on who you want to become. Remembering never to measure yourself against other people because it’s wasting energy that should be spent on your own progress.
From the writer who never thought she would JP.
