They are always there!
I once heard Oprah say, first it’s a whisper, then it’s a shout, then it’s a slap. (This my version of what I heard her say anyway)
We all know when something’s not right, you know that feeling… “Deep down inside” that tells you, “you’re going the wrong way”, or it says, “this isn’t right”. Whether we choose to follow the instinct and find out what’s wrong and attempt to resolve it is another matter.
A long while ago was in a job that I enjoyed, worked with people that I liked, but something wasn’t quite right, I knew I was ignoring a voice deep down asking me to change, what I was doing wasn’t it, but what the “it” was, only god knew and I wanted to know too. The thing is, most people do not have the luxury of being in jobs, relationships they liked, and there I was not being satisfied with what I had, everything seems fine, nothing to complain about. But something was tagging at me, was this it? Was this what I was born to do? Was I settling? doing what I knew to do, not stretching myself, being afraid of starting something new, fearing the unknown. I was already the best in the role, why change going into uncharted waters? Why put myself in a new environment facing god knows what new challenges.
I spent a couple more years coasting. Life got dull and uninteresting, I was becoming someone else and going further away from my truth, this corporate robot, this version of me that had no personality, that controlled every single word that came out of my mouth, keeping up appearances. Then one day I walked away from it all, not knowing the next steps, just searching for my purpose. October 2017, I left my job behind went on holiday for a month, spent my first Christmas doing nothing, and following from that spent months & months searching on the internet for inspiration.
A year later, and a few courses completed, I found a course that challenged me to start vlogging…..vlogging???? What me? Vulnerable on video, vlog? For who? For people I didn’t know and share my thoughts? Nope! Not me… but I slowly crawled out of my comfort zone, reluctantly, I starting the vlogs, then set up my website reluctantly, was asked to be a guest speaker at a women’s conference which I accepted reluctantly, started my blogs, reluctantly, was asked to be on a guest for a business show which I accepted reluctantly and here I am today. Looking back at October 2017, what started as not knowing what my next steps are, turned out to running a small business. Now the whisper says, “you listened to the voice deep down”, keep going, you’re going to be ok”. You see, until you have the courage to stare in the face that feeling of “something’s not quite right” and start walking towards it and do something about it, you’ll always be somewhere in the middle doing something that you’re not quite sure about, being somewhat uncomfortable, feeling stuck.
Life always gives you what you’re truly willing to have a go at, gamble with, align yourself with, walk along side, accept, and move in the direction of it, whatever the “it” may be. So be bold, look at “it” in the face and ask the question, “What’s the “it” that I want to find”? Am I willing to go where my instinct is taking me without knowing the next steps? Can I take the first step and allow the next one to unfold?
May your life be filled with adventures you never planned?
With Love
From the writer who never thought she would be. JP
